he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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