Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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