I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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