my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
