we have officially lost it.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
