Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Bring me that man meat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
