Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
