idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he puts the penis in happiness.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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