the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
