wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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