Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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