She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
