We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
