sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
