Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
