i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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