he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
