Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
