And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
3pm strippers are depressing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
