I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
