dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
