I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
