I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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