Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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