It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
