He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
