So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
