Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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