Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
