he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
