I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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