Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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