Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
