If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
