Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
