I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
