well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
