it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
