never play flip cup with pint glasses
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
