I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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