I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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