ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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