i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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