just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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