I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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