How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
As shirtless as possible
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
