Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
