Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
