He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
