I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
