Having a random hookup so left but love u
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
