i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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