Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
