I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
